DS9: “The Sword of Kahless” and “Our Man Bashir”

Date: July 16, 2020

Season 4, Episodes 8 and 9

Musical Accompaniment: A new set of cello covers I found

Interstellar News: I went to the eye doctor today and my eyes are just as shitty as they always have been, sigh. Good news is I’m getting TWO new pairs of glasses, hooray!

Favorite Quote from “The Sword of Kahless”:

Worf: The Sword of Kahless.

Dax: You told me not to tell anybody.

Kor: He guessed.

Worf being a good guess, Dax being outraged, and Kor technically keeping his secret.

So what had happened in “The Sword of Kahless” was…: Kor is back and regaling the customers at Quark’s with a tall tale. Afterward Dax introduces Worf to Kor and Kor lets spill their secret mission: to find the bat’leth that once belonged to Kahless. Several drinks later Kor is attacked outside of his room by a Lethean, but he only wakes up with a hangover. Worf, Dax, and Kor head into the GQ where Dax makes short work of a forcefield, and then another where they find the bat’leth.

They exit only to find that Toral sent the Lethean to find what Kor knew and their plan is to escape with the weapon. The trio kick some ass and escape but Worf is wounded and there’s a jammer so they can’t get back to the ship. They wander around the caves and it’s clear that Worf and Kor have different ideas about the Klingon future and they begin to distrust each other so Dax has to be the mediator and uses the bat’leth as a pillow. The others attack again, are beaten again, but then Kor and Worf start fighting so she shoots them both. Back on the runabout they decide to space the bat’leth and hope someone else will find it when the time is right.

“Lots of people die and nobody makes any profit.”: I may be biased because I love Klingons so much, but this was a fantastic story about the power of mythical objects and how everyone would run the zoo differently. This was the Klingon version of Indiana Jones except there were no Nazis to punch, only the House of Duras. I also got strong Lord of the Ring vibes as Dax wasn’t affected by the bat’leth like the other two were. I would also argue that there’s a bit of Harry Potter as the bat’leth seemed to act like the horcrux locket whenever one of them held it.

I’m reminded of the quote “absolute power corrupts absolutely” and we see it here threefold. Toral sees it as a way to bring his house back to its former glory and then some. Kor sees it as a way to live forever in the memory of the Klingon people and also as a way to make sense of being the last of his warrior friends to still be alive since he didn’t have the good fortune to die in battle as they did. Worf, at first, is selfless and believes it his duty to return it to the Emperor. Later he is corrupted by the power and believes it is his destiny to rule the Klingons. Thankfully Dax shoots them both and that seemed to knock some sense into them. While it’s not the best Klingon episode, not the best DS9 or Trek episode, it’s still damn good and it gets 8 ancient bat’leths from me.

Favorite Quotes from “Our Man Bashir”:

Kick-Ass Kira: “Who is Dax?”

Eddington: Where’s the core memory interface?

Rom: Oh it’s right behind the spatula.

Eddington: The spatula?

Rom: It’s made of a copper-ytterbium composite, the perfect plasma conductor.

I’ll have to remember that the next time I’m cooking and need a plasma conductor.

So what had happened in “Our Man Bashir” was…: Bashir is wearing a tux and it’s clear he’s in the holosuite living out his James Bond fantasy when Garak, also in a tux, interrupts and decides to stay for a while. The Orinoco is sabotaged but the beam out doesn’t work quite right so Eddington and Odo purge all memory on the station in order to transfer the neural patterns trapped in the transporter. The neural patterns were moved successfully but the physical body patterns went to the holosuite and each character now resembles a member of the senior staff.

Kira is a Russsian spy who’s in love with Bashir. Dax is Professor Honey Bare, a seismologist who’s been captured by Dr. Noah. O’Brien is Falcon, the henchman and the muscle. Worf is Duchamps, an associate of Dr. Noah… who winds up being played by Sisko. Bashir gambles with Duchamps who roofies them and takes them to Dr. Noah where Dr. Noah shares his evil plan which is turning Earth into Waterworld with Mount Everest as his personal island. Garak and Bashir are trapped but Dax’s character helps them out and this allows Bashir to stall long enough for Rom and Eddington to get the patterns back together and through the transporter.

“Actually, my character is far more disreputable. I’m a spy.”: This was DS9’s take on James Bond right down to the misogyny and music and it was absolutely delightful. Where Austin Powers was pure comedy this episode was comedy with a science-fiction twist and it really worked. There were a couple of things that stopped this episode from being great, but it’s most because it was too close to Bond. Falcon’s hired thugs totally forget they’re holding guns and go into hand-to-hand combat with Bashir and Garak and it’s totally ridiculous. Dax’s character is in the room where the lava is about to flow just minutes before FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. She could be killed if she doesn’t get out of there and there’s also no reason for her to give Bashir the key.

One excellent part is that Garak never stops being himself and he is constantly telling Bashir, the unflappable optimist, that they’ve got to get the hell our of dodge. Garak and Gul Dukat are very much alike, the ultimate survivors. It was also a nice touch that Bashir’s speech at the end was very much what Garak said to him minutes earlier and it proves to be so captivating that the bad guys forget to shoot. I also enjoyed Bashir shooting Garak and Garak once again claiming that “there’s hope yet” for Bashir. ROm and Eddington were super star engineers and it was wonderful to hear O’Brien’s first words be the ones Eddington feared, because no one likes when you out-McGuvyer them on their own starship. 9 martinis, shaken and not stirred, thank you very much.

TA Out!