DS9: “Statistical Probabilities” and “The Magnificent Ferengi”

Date: August 14, 2020

Season 6, Episodes 9 and 10

Musical Accompaniment: Medieval Wolf Music, whatever that is. Go Pack!

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Favorite Quote from “Statistical Probabilities”:

Bashir: Maybe our projections were wrong.

Jack: How can you say that? We factored in every contingency, every variable. The equations don’t lie. You. You ruined everything.

Bashir: What do you make of that, Jack? Why didn’t you anticipate that? Why didn’t you factor her into your equation? Because you thought you knew everything, but you didn’t even know what was going to happen in this room. One person derailed your plans. One person changed the course of history. Now, I don’t know about you, but that makes me think that maybe, just maybe, things may not turn out the way we thought.

Bashir helping Jack to explain how important it is to expect the unexpected.

So what had happened in “Statistical Probabilities” was…: Four other genetically engineered humans are brought to the station to learn from Dr. Bashir, they were not so lucky to be able to pass as “normal”; Lauren is a flirt, Jack is insane, Patrick is a mess, and Sarina doesn’t talk… they’re “mutants”. Gul Damar makes a statement advocating peace but the mutants dissect it and instantly engage with Bashir, all focusing on the problem. When Weyoun and Damar come to DS9 to talk to Sisko about peace the mutants figure out what the Dominion is after and this leads to a ton of statistical analysis all coming to the conclusion that the Federation must surrender. Bashir loses his shit when Sisko, O’Brien and ultimately the Federation reject this plan, but he won’t participate in espionage which is what Jack, Lauren, and Patrick try to do. Bashir stops them and explains that they could be wrong, after all they didn’t factor in Bashir being untied and stopping them. He promises to come visit them and they beam out to go back to the institute.

“He’s a mutant, just like the rest of us.”: Bashir, who was outed as being enhanced recently, gets so caught up in being with others like him that he forgets about the chain of command and what’s really important. As a doctor and a compassionate person of course billions of lives seem well worth the risk, but that assumes that the Dominion won’t eradicate worlds. I mean Weyoun said just a few episodes ago they should attack Earth and be done with it and now that they’ve lost DS9 I worry about Bajor and Earth. One thing I did not understand is the discussion the senior officers has. Dax has 300 years experience, Worf is a strong Klingon warrior, Odo is a fucking changeling, and Sisko is a damn religious icon. Why are they all allowed to join Starfleet but enhanced individuals are banned?

Yes I understand there’s KHAAAAAAAAAN and the Eugenics War, but for every Jack there’s likely a Bashir. So outlaw it, punish the parents, and see if the kid can be helped. The problem becomes, though, when something is outlawed and people go somewhere else for their fix… and likely somewhere not a reputable or safe, which is likely what happened to Jack and the others. The 24th century may be move evolved than our society, but prejudice still exists and this episode shows it clearly. I did love that O’Brien missed his friend, Bashir eventually helped to illustrate that projections are just educated guesses, and Weyoun is as delightful as ever. 7 lucky shots at the dart board for this episode.

Favorite Quote from “The Magnificent Ferengi”:

Quark: Brother, there’s something I need to tell you

Rom: You mean that ten bars of latinum is an overly generous finder’s fee? I already know that.

Rom is not the worst Ferengi ever, he’s just a MUCH better engineer and problem solver.

So what had happened in “The Magnificent Ferengi” was…: The Nagus calls Quark to let him know Ishka has been captured by the Dominion and he’ll pay 50 bars of latinum if Quark rescues her. Quark and Rom put together an all-Ferengi Mod Squad with Nog, Leck, cousin Gaila, and Brunt. They try rescue missions on the holodeck and are terrible until Rom remembers they are Ferengi and maybe they should negotiate. They are given Keevan to trade for Ishka and will do it on Empok Nor. They arrive first and get set up in the Infirmary but Gaila falls asleep on his shift and Keevan tries to escape so they all RUUUUUUUUUN only to find the ship was disabled. Suddenly the proximity alarm sounds so they all RUUUUUUUUN back to the Infirmary and Nog sees an entire platoon of Jem’Hadar have come to greet them. Quark, Rom, and Nog head out to meet Yelgrun and Ishka and Quark negotiates to make the exchange in 30 minutes. As the Ferengi are celebrating Rom lets slip how much the Nagus is actually paying, the arguing ensues, and Gaila accidentally kills Keevan. They decide for Nog to engineer Keevan “alive” a la Weekend at Bernie’s and make the exchange. The Ferengi wind up with both Ishka and Yelgrun while poor dead Keevan is stuck bouncing into a wall.

“I hate Ferengi.”: The Vorta may hate the Ferengi but this episode made me love them that much more. Nog does his best to try to get the others to listen to him, but he’s too young and has drunk too much of the Federation’s root beer flavored Kool Aid. Leck is fantastic and creepy and not at all your typical Ferengi. Gaila and Brunt are familiar faces who each have a grudge with Quark but also need Ishka alive, and let’s be real it’s Gaila’s show with his ridiculous scream and his shooting of Keevan. And then there’s the running, which is much more hysterical that it was on TOS. Given that we’re in a war and we need to be serious, and hell hostage negotiation is serious too, the humor hit in all the right ways. Watching Rom and Quark crawl around the station’s tubes, and taking a wrong turn to Sisko’s office, was fantastic but equally fantastic were Ishka and Yelgrun. As flamboyant as Weyoun is, Yelgrun is the deadpan opposite and it was delightful whenever he was speaking. Ishka is still giving sound financial advice, even held captive, and it shows she has a passion for it as well as the lobes. You almost feel bad for Keevan until you remember what an asshat he is, but the actor who played him got to be goofy as all hell in the hallway scene and it was beautiful. I love that, as contrived the reason, the Ferengi get to be the heroes in their own story. 9 cheers for the boys from Ferenganar!

TA Out!