Date: August 2, 2020
Season 5, Episodes 16 and 17
Musical Accompaniment: More Vivaldi, because why not? Also, pretentiousness and awesomeness are not mutually exclusive and Vivaldi is both.
Interstellar News: We are back from the mountains and Professor Zoom smashed his activity goal for the weekend.
Favorite Quote from “Doctor Bashir, I Presume?”:
O’Brien: You mean this programm is going to have all of his personal likes and dislikes?
Zimmerman: That is why we bother to choose a human template in the first place.
O’Brien: Wow, think of it, Julian. If this thing works, you’ll be able to irritate hundreds of people you’ve never even met.O’Brien ribbing his best friend.
So what had happened in “Doctor Bashir, I Presume?” was…: Rom wants to ask Leeta on a date but he’s too chicken. Zimmerman, who is here to interview Bashir for the LMH (more on that in a bit), asks Leeta out and then asks her to come back with him to the Jupiter station as he’s totally smitten with her. Leeta asks Rom if there’s a reason for her to stay and he doesn’t say anything so she plans to take Zimmerman up on his offer. As she and Zimmerman are leaving Rom ruuuuuuuuuuns down the hall yelling for her to stop, declaring his love for her, and they kiss.
Bashir is going to be turned into a Long-term Medical Hologram (LMH), an improvement to the existing Emergency Medical Holorgram (EMH). Zimmerman needs to take scans, conduct interviews, and complete the profile for the LMH and there’s an amusing scene between the LMH, EMH, and the two men each is based on. Despite asking for his parents to NOT be interviewed, Bashir’s parents arrive and it’s super awkward, though I can see where Bashir gets his talkativeness from. Bashir’s parents unknowingly interact with the LMH and swear they won’t tell anyone they illegally genetically enhanced Bashir when he was six, but Zimmerman and O’Brien hear the whole thing. His parents wind up contacting Sisko and the JAG office where Bashir will be able to stay in Starfleet but his dad has to serve two years in prison.
“Why is everyone so worried about holograms taking over the universe?”: The Rom and Leeta love story is adorable and clearly used as filler, though I hope we’ll get to see more of their awkwardness as time goes on. The big story is Bashir, which is great that he and Leeta used to date and she chooses a Ferengi over a genetically enhanced man because… looks aren’t everything. There’s one point where Zimmerman is doing his interviews and O’Brien double and triple checks that nothing he says will get back to Bashir and then says a bunch of, glances left and right, nice things about Bashir… how could he (waving hands in abject sarcasm)?!?! O’Brien and Bashir playing darts at the start and the close is fantastic, especially when O’Brien moves Bashir’s starting point. O’Brien’s best part, though, is when he’s supportive of Bashir and helps him talk through what his next action is.
This is absolutely something that helps make certain things about Bashir make more sense, just like with Worf and Lwaxana before him. I keep thinking about all of the parents today in light of Covid-19 saying that their kid will be “behind”, or all of my students who think they are “behind” if they don’t take a certain class in a certain semester. In case no one has noticed, we’re in a global pandemic and all of the things taught in school can be caught up on anytime… learning is never completed. Even if there wasn’t a pandemic, everyone learns at their own pace and you’ve got to figure out what works best for you. How hard that must have been for Bashir to live all of his life thinking he was deficient and his parents augmented him to make them live up to their vision of his potential. He thinks none of his achievements are his own, but he’s the one who did all the work. The JAG officer makes it clear that Bashir is no Khan Singh, but he easily could have if he was a Slytherin instead of a Ravenclaw. The best part, though, is when Bashir’s mother intervenes and explain what she was thinking and why she agreed… what if it was her fault? They were never ashamed, they just wanted the world for him and may have gone about it in a not-so-great way. 7 Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel for this episode, mostly because no one said “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAN”.
Favorite Quote from “A Simple Investigation”:
Dax: She spent the night in his quarters.
Kira: He had her under protective custody.
Dax: Come on, Nerys. He could have put her somewhere else.
Kira: You know how Odo is. He likes to be thorough.
Dax: It was more than that.Dax and Kira gossiping, though the next part where Worf intervenes is the best.
So what had happened in “A Simple Investigation” was…: Two Finneans kill an Idanian named Tauvid looking for “it” and maybe “she” has it, curiouser and curiouser. Bashir has a new Bond-like holosuite program but Odo backs out, he’s just not that into it. On his way out of Quark’s he runs into a woman named Arissa who is waiting for someone. Arissa has a dataport and tries to find Tauvid but is caught by security. Odo is captivated by her and they go to Tauvid’s room only to find his remains. Arissa finally tells Odo the truth, she’s in bed with the mob and is trying to get free and Tauvid has an encrypted chip that can help her. Odo transports her to his quarters and he continues to fall for her, the bad guys continue to try to get the chip and kill the girl. Odo and Arissa spend the night and Odo is totally head-over-heels in love. He leaves to attend to some business and Arissa steals the chip to make a deal. It turns out, Arissa is actually an undercover Idanian agent who was made to look different and given new memories so they could get who she worked for. She comes to say goodbye to Odo because she has a husband and wants to get back to her life, but everything was real.
“Look what you did to the carpet.”: Dax is a total gossip and the exchange between her and Worf in Ops is fantastic. I have no idea why Odo goes to Bashir to ask advice on women as Bashir is the last person I would go to for advice on that particular subject. While this episode wasn’t bad, it didn’t pack a punch. It was a very standard romance-in-an-episode and the only difference is that it was Odo who hasn’t had such a love (we’re totally going to ignore his love for Kira because that’s a horse of a different color). Odo is obsessed not only by the mystery but also by someone is is suddenly so taken with. Think about someone you met at a party by chance and had an instant connection with. Did you follow through with them or let it be? Did the universe keep bringing you together or did you never see them again? Odo is smitten and is trying to figure out how to meld his changeling persona with the one he had as a humanoid and he gets his non-existent heart broken. The tag team of mob assassins was totally underused and I would have loved to have seen then more (“I thought it was on stun”). Odo is the Tin Man, he just hasn’t figured out that he wants a heart just yet. 6 emeralds for this episode.