Setting the Stage: Today was absolutely bonkers. It started off by going to the talk of a faculty candidate, which was followed by two sessions of strategic planning, lunch, and one more strategic planning session. I then had a good work session with my work mom and was able to watch this one episode before going on a dinner interview with the faculty candidate from the morning. Having been on one of those all day, 12+ hour interviews myself… I imagine they are sleeping peacefully right now. I watched on Netflix, but it appears that Netflix’s order and production order are the same for the last three episodes of Season 3. Take that production-order elitists! Seriously though, I had no idea production order was a thing, I’ll know better for next time. Okay, there probably won’t be a next time, or certainly not of Season 3 at the very least. Tonight’s writing music is the Star Wars: A New Hope soundtrack performed by the London Symphony Orchestra.

Quick Summary with my Impressions: I find myself asking a lot of questions I never thought I would conceive, let alone utter in this season of Star Trek. One such question is “What on Earth is Abraham Lincoln doing floating in space?!” I think Star Trek has jumped the shark, my friends.

Shatner can’t even keep a straight face. Okay, Our Lincoln look-alike has a pocket watch, now you’ve got my attention. “Lincoln” beams aboard and we are finally given a lesson on the science behind how the transporter works. When Uhura is introduced and “Lincoln” utters a word he then apologies for, she explains society is advanced enough that would do George Carlin proud. If you’ve never listed to the “Seven Dirty Words” skit, it’s a classic and you totally should. It’s absolutely not safe for work, by the way.

McCoy and Scotty think that going down to the planet is a trap while Spock and Kirk are curious as all hell and decide to beam down. As they do, however, their tri-corders and phasers are left in the transporter room and their communicators don’t work either. Curiously, Spock meets Surak, the greatest Vulcan to ever live but who should also be dead, just like Lincoln. All of a sudden a rock comes to life and transforms into this weird looking creature, and I’m totally lost. The rock creature looks like one of the trolls out of Babes in Toyland, starring a very young Keanu Reeves, which was never released on DVD and I still own the VHS because it’s nostalgic of my childhood.

Our rock friend has assembled a handful of “evil” figures from history that it wants to pit against Kirk, Spock, Surak, and Lincoln to see which is stronger; good or evil. This is now the third “Bill and Ted” reference in this episode: Carlin, Keanu, and now dead, historical figures. Looks like we’re also doing the plot of “Arena” again, but this time the Enterprise is in danger of blowing up if Kirk and Spock do not win and the lives of the crew are at stake. Kirk argues that if their enemies are an illusion, there’s no problem with harming them, but Spock asks the important question – what if they are real? Fighting happens, people die, there are all sorts of ridiculous things happening. In the end, however, Spock and Kirk “win” the contest, the Enterprise is back in working order, and we move on to the next assignment as if nothing has happened.

I completely get why Kirk made the decision to go, because their mission is to make contact with other beings, but it seemed a flimsy excuse to justify his curiosity. The same can be said for Spock who clearly let his curiosity get the best of him, and in front of Surak – for shame! I see this as a recycled plot with just a few more elements that should have made it more interesting, but really didn’t. At least Kirk and Spock kept to their diplomacy first and only fought when necessary, and they had two allies on that front with Lincoln and Surak putting peace first, even to their detriment. Even with all these flaws, it is still not as bad as “The Omega Glory” or “The Gamesters of Triskelion”, so I think that earns this episode a 2 pound free weight.

Only two more episodes left, and then we move onto The Animated Series!

TA Out!

Episode # and Episode Name: 20 – “The Way to Eden” and 21 “The Cloud Minders”

Setting the Stage: I started around 6:00 pm, still watching Netflix and using their viewing order. It’s apparently my 11 year anniversary of living in North Carolina. You can take the girl out of Jersey, but I will never want to pump my own gas or say “coffee” correctly. It is a rainy, windy, possible tornado night here – so Professor Zoom pretended there was no such thing as the outdoors and was a lap puppy almost all night. Thankfully we didn’t have flooding and kept power, but I know there are others in the area who were not so lucky. Tonight’s writing music is Joe Satriani, and more specifically his album “Professor Satchafunkilus and the Musterion of Rock“. Now say that 5 times fast.

Quick Summary with my Impressions: “The Way to Eden” begins with one question – where the fuck is Uhura? Someone else is at communications and I don’t like it. Anyway, back to the episode. Apparently we’re doing a “hippie” episode where a group of anti-establishment types, led by Dr. Sevrin, have stolen a space cruiser and are looking for the planet “Eden” to start anew. Kirk condemns them as a bunch of hoodlums (he’s very “Get off my lawn!”) while Spock is curious about their group. They call Kirk “Herbert” which is apparently their version of “ok boomer”, but are to be treated as gently as possible because one of the group is the son of an ambassador.

Chekov encounters a woman he went to school with and they each talk about why they made the decisions they did, clearly he loved her. During the medical check ups, Dr. Sevrin is found to be a carrier of a deadly virus, but he brings up a good point about being subjected to the exam against his will. That is the last sane thing he does, by the way. Spock believes Dr. Severin is insane and he asks McCoy to check him out, turns out Spock is 1000% correct, as usual. Chekov is trying hard to resist the charms of his old flame, but fails miserably. Turns out that the group each had their own orders to find out information about the ship and they are trying take over the Enterprise, dun dun dun. They put on a concert, methinks a distraction, or maybe this is why every show does a damn musical episode at least once. Nah, it was a distraction and the group takes over auxiliary control and is heading over into Romulan space.

Adam reminds me of Arlo Guthrie and I’m not entirely sure why, but it must be because a dear friend introduced me to this version of “Can’t Help Falling In Love” and Adam’s voice just reminds me so much of that. Spock tries to explain to the rest of the group that Sevrin is insane, but they won’t hear it, though they suspect something is off. As the crew of the Enterprise is knocked out, the group beams down to Eden. Spock, Chekov, McCoy, and Kirk beam down – but almost immediately Chekov is burned by the flowers and we find out everything is full of acid. Shortly after Adam is found dead, the rest of the hippies have had their feet badly burned, and instead of going to be treated, Severin climbs a tree, eats some fruit, and dies. Everyone else goes back to their lives and we end the episode.

Okay, so I totally get the space hippies thing. I also completely love that everything was actually poison and that cult leaders are always insane. I even liked the fact that everyone in the group worked to take over the ship so they could get to where they intended to go. In fact, I didn’t actually hate much about this episode except for two things: Sevrin and I THOUGHT I WAS WATCHING STAR TREK. First, we have Sevrin who isn’t really like any of the other megalomaniacs we’ve encountered in Trek before. I mean there have been quite the list of insane men (and a few women) in these last 70+ episodes, and Sevrin just isn’t anywhere close to being charismatic or crazy enough. He’s not someone I can look at and say “well, I understand why those kids followed him” and at the same time he’s also not someone I look at right away and go “wow, he’s batshit crazy”. I also can’t legally every diagnose someone as “batshit crazy” because it’s not in the DSM, but I digress. This episode had not much to do with science fiction or defending the galaxy, and seemed out of character for the Enterprise to get involved. I guess maybe they were the closest, but it doesn’t do anything for me. That being said, it’s still better than some of the others I have watched recently so that earns it a 4 pound bag of precooked bacon.

Uhura is back in “The Cloud Minders”, yay! Kirk and Spock are to be beamed to the mining entrance, no wait to Bespin, ahem, Cloud City, ahem, Stratos, to pick up a shipment of zenite that will help a whole planet survive a terrible plague. When they change to the mining entrance, they are lassoed by a group who clearly mean to use Spock and Kirk as hostages, when more people beam down and save our two leading men.

When a piece of artwork is found to be damaged in some way, we find out there are some on the surface who are “disrupting” the peace of the planet. The daughter of the council member, Droxine, is hardly wearing anything and is apparently attracted to Spock, she even uses the word fascinating! Spock flirting is quite interesting and Droxine is totally hot for Spock. Looks like someone is trying to kill Kirk as he sleeps, and it’s the same woman from earlier who tried to kidnap him. Apparently those who live down on the surface below are inferior in intellect, they are “just workers”, but those who live in the clouds are artists and philosophers, and now we see the issue of a ruling class versus a worker class. McCoy figures out that something is wrong in the atmosphere below that damages the brain of  those who dwell below the clouds, they aren’t really inferior they just have been exposed to an element those who live in the cloud city have not. Kirk develops a plan but it requires her to trust him, and then he gets himself captured. He overtakes her, traps them in, and then has Spock beam the advisor so that they can see the effects of the gas, which all three eventually do. Kirk gets what he came for (the zenite), and Spock comes away with something he didn’t plan for (the adoration of Droxine). They go to save the planet (with 2 hours and 59 minutes to spare!) and away we go.

Even though it was corny in some parts and the plot was pretty terrible, I actually enjoyed this episode in a few small ways. There was some political uprising, a medical mystery or two, some diplomacy, a scantily clad woman each for Spock and Kirk, and a happy ending for all involved at the end. Oh and Shatner’s acting like a lunatic when exposed to the gas was quite entertaining. If you abstract out all the actual detail, it’s a great episode. It’s those pesky little details when you dive in where the problems begin to surface. What did Spock see in Droxine that caused him to flirt back? Why was Kirk so into a woman hell bent on trying to kidnap him? Why did they waste so much damn time when this zenite stuff was so needed and there was a time crunch? There are too many unanswered questions for me to really give this episode a higher rating than 4 polka dotted pink plastic flamingos.

TA Out!

Episode #,and Episode Name: 18 – “The Lights of Zetar” and 19 “Requiem for Methuselah”

Setting the Stage: I started around 7:00 pm, still watching Netflix and using their viewing order. Professor Zoom and Tempura were around, but tonight they were playing musical chairs with the lap of my husband and pretty much left me alone, which was actually very sad. Jazz and Loki got into a fight and then came to hang out on the coffee table for the last 15 minutes of the second episode. Tonight’s writing music is the Man of Steel soundtrack by Hans Zimmer, and yes, that makes it two nights of Zimmer in a row. He’s no John Williams, but it’s still excellent work. John Williams, Hans Zimmer, and Danny Elfman write some good, epic music and are fantastic composers.

Quick Summary with my Impressions: “The Lights of Zetar” starts out with the introduction of Lieutenant Mira Romaine, with whom Scotty has fallen head-over-heels in love with (it’s super adorable, at first) and a mission to head to Memory Alpha. On their way, there’s this weird “storm” of lights, and every crew person has a different reaction (unable to move their hands, their eyes, speak, etc.). Mira has the most adverse reaction and faints, but is revived by McCoy and feels just fine. In sickbay she is snippy with McCoy, though it’s not like he has the best bedside manner either, and Scotty is adoring but also condescending. Sulu, or possibly Chekov, note that the “storm” is heading straight for Memory Alpha. When the landing party beams down, it’s not a pretty sight and everyone is basically dead, yeesh. Mira has a Final Destination moment where she claims the storm is going to come back and kill them all, and right as Spock finishes telling her she is a hysterical woman, Sulu pipes in and confirms she’s correct – so they all beam back the Enterprise (although Mira is a little delayed).

The “storm” seems to be following the Enterprise, but Spock explains that there are actually lifeforms in the lights and somehow Mira is paired with them, as any damage to them effects her. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy convene to have an investigation into why Mira was targeted, with Scotty tagging along like a love-sick puppy. Apparently, the lights are the last surviving pieces of a civilization lost and they have been searching for someone to live in, and Mira fits the bill. Kirk has an idea, which works, and for the first time in Enterprise history – Spock, McCoy, and Scotty all agree on the next course of action.

My absolute biggest problem with this episode is how many times they refer to Lieutenant Mira Romaine as “the girl” or just “Mira”. Seriously, use her rank or at least refer to her by her last name, like you do EVERY OTHER CREW MEMBER! If I had made a drinking game for each time they had done that, I would not be around to write this post because I would be DEAD from alcohol poisoning! Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but I’d certainly be worse for wear. I started off really liking Scotty in love, it was super adorable, but then it became a little too much and he reminded me that we were in the late 1960’s and I’m so glad we’re not there anymore. I thought the plot was interesting, it was another mystery to be solved that kept even Spock on his toes. The ending, however, made absolutely no sense and things just seemed to work out because … reasons! That lands this episode with 3 very bald tires and a flat donut in the trunk.

“Requiem for Methuselah” starts off a bit grim, there’s fever and death spreading throughout the Enterprise. Good news is that there’s a medicine that can help on a nearby planet, score! Bad news is there’s already someone there who doesn’t want Kirk and crew to have it. Eventually the man, Flint, and the landing party come to terms and they adjourn to his home while his robot collects the herbs. Flint has quite the collection of art, music, and other such items. Spock admits to being almost envious AND has some brandy, it’s a red-letter day. As the robot goes off to process the medicine, Flint presents a blonde for Kirk, ahem… cough cough… I mean he presents Rayna to the landing party. McCoy is SUCH a dirty old man, and so fucking misogynistic, I can’t stand it. Kirk is also all “did you teach her that?” to Flint, like she can’t learn things on her own. Kirk is obviously quite taken with her. Spock plays the piano while Rayna and Kirk dance, and dance, and dance. I thought there was a medical emergency guys, come on – why does the dancing go on FOREVER?! This is almost as bad as the running from “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield“.

McCoy has a problem with the medicine as there’s something wrong with it, and Spock points out how many unknown priceless items there are… the plot thickens. Kirk is obviously bugged by who the hell Flint and Rayna are and Spock tries to keep Kirk’s attention on the mission of attending to the sick crew, man does Kirk have it bad. Turns out Flint is immortal, Rayna is an android, and Kirk is so in love that he forgets his good manners and has a legit physical altercation with Flint. Rayna can’t handle it and dies, because apparently love can kill an android? Back on the Enterprise, McCoy comes in to tell Spock and Kirk that Flint is dying and gives a speech about how sorry he feels for Spock to not know the glory of love – sigh. Spock unethically removes the memory of Rayna from Kirk’s sleeping form and we move on.

I don’t understand how, or why, Kirk falls so hopelessly in love with Rayna. Maybe because she’s a blonde in a season of brunettes? It comes out of left field, he looks like he’s been hit with a bag of hammers and practically drools as she is introduced to the landing party. When his ship or his crew is in danger, he is always on top of his game. He was able to kick the mind control of the kids in “And the Children Shall Lead”, dismiss the love tears of Elaan, and there are so many other examples where his duty completely overrides everything being thrown at him. So why now? Why her? Also, I am supposed to believe that Flint was all those famous people over the years and he’s going to just die after encountering the crew, the odds are astounding as I’m sure Spock could calculate for you. After one good episode yesterday, I had high hopes for these two tonight, and was sad because the plots could have been so much more interesting. This episode earns 3 really stale loaves of bread that you absolutely needed and don’t have time to run to the store and buy more.

TA Out!

Episode #,and Episode Name: 16 – “The Mark of Gideon” and 17 “That Which Survives”

Setting the Stage: This morning started out with a 7:00 am dentist appointment, but I can officially state I have gone 33 years and almost 2 months with no cavities! After work a nap was needed, but it allowed me to focus on the two episodes I watched tonight. I started around 6:00 pm, still watching Netflix and using their viewing order. Professor Zoom and Tempura were around, playing musical chairs with my lap for most of the evening. Puppy and kitty nurses are the best. Tonight’s writing music is The Dark Knight soundtrack by Hans Zimmer.

Quick Summary with my Impressions: “The Mark of Gideon” begins with the planet Gideon (I’m shocked I tell you, shocked), who has finally agreed to meet a Federation representative. However, it has to be Kirk and during the beam down process he’s stranded on the Enterprise that now appears to have been abandoned… dun dun dun. You can tell he’s quite concerned and confused and totally out of his element. Oh, voice over Kirk is back, great (rolls eyes). Gideon and the Enterprise are both now aware Kirk did not beam down, but no one knows why. Oh look, a brunette – or maybe a blonde, and Kirk believes someone has done this to them deliberately. There’s a lot of verbal sparring between Spock and the Gideon delegation, but at least the transporter works now… interesting. Spock is doing a lot of demanding this episode, I kind of like it. Why are there people watching Kirk make out with the mystery woman, and why does he not notice? Also, what’s up with his arm? Ah, now he sees the people and hears their heartbeats. Okay, now the Gideon delegation is watching Kirk like a damn TV show, kind of reminding me of The Truman Show. Spock decides to beam down to the original coordinates given, and realizes they had built an identical Enterprise. Apparently the people of Gideon are very pro-life, but also don’t really die or get sick, so they have kidnapped Kirk to infect the people and do some sort of weird population control? However, Spock and Kirk save the day, McCoy saves the girl, and away we go.

I don’t understand how a non-Federation planet was able to make an identical replica of the Enterprise, or why the planet didn’t just ask the Federation for help by taking on some of their inhabitants? I mean, especially if you’re so pro-life you won’t even consider contraception or natural family planning, the least you can do is send your people out into the world. I’m also confused by how people sleep, eat, and ya know – do the “not family planning thing” if there are SO MANY PEOPLE they are all horded together. I find that when I start looking critically at these episodes to write about them, I begin to have way more questions than answers. Maybe, however, that’s the point. I do want to know more about how Gideon came to be like that and if whatever they were doing worked, did they eventually turn to the Federation? Well I’m not that intrigued, but enough that I give this episode three and a half nicely ripe mangoes.

“That Which Survives” begins with intrigue. There’s a young planet that is confusing even to Spock, so Kirk, McCoy, Sulu, and the geologist D’Amato beam down – but a woman interrupts the beam down process and kills the operator. The Enterprise warps away and the landing party is now stuck on the planet. The Enterprise is apparently 990.7 light-years away from where it was. Scotty and Spock have this funny exchange and Sulu’s replacement is a sharp wit, I like her.

SPOCK: “In that case, Mister Scott, I suggest we start at once. Can you give me warp eight?”

SCOTT: “Aye, sir. And maybe a wee bit more. I’ll sit on the warp engines myself and nurse them.”

SPOCK: “That position, Mister Scott, would not only be unavailing but also undignified.”

from http://www.chakoteya.net/StarTrek/69.htm

Now there is a long period on the planet where the landing party divides up and finds nothing, except D’Amato runs into the same woman, who then kills him the same way she killed the red shirt. Scotty thinks the ship feels wrong, despite the instrumentation showing all is well, so he sends one of the engineers to check something out and the woman shows up again, kills him, and then DEMATERIALIZES INTO THE WALL?! Sulu does not give into the wiles of this purple-clad woman, but when she touches Kirk nothing happens. Apparently, the Enterprise is going to blow up and Scotty says there’s nothing that can be done. Spock is slightly infuriating when he feels he needs to be exact and precise, especially because it doesn’t matter, although I understand why.

Scotty goes crawling around to try to fix what is going on, Spock is running a computer simulation, and Kirk, Sulu, and McCoy almost get blown up – what is going on? Usually by now we know what is happening, but I’m still super confused. The woman gives her name and that she is a commander, but feels conflicted about her orders to kill Kirk, and then she flips out and folds in on herself. She feels very computerized but also very human, and McCoy gets zero helpful readings, so the mystery persists. Back on the Enterprise, Scotty is dramatic and Spock has faith(?), or maybe has run the statistics, that Scotty can reverse the polarity, which he does. Oh snap, there are now three of the same woman, one for each of the landing party, when Spock beams down – just in the nick of time – with a red shirt who destroys the computer and doesn’t even get thanked for it. Apparently the planet was an outpost and the commander was waiting for others of her kind to come back – but they never did, and before she died she programmed the computer to secure the planet for anyone that was not of her race. While Spock was praising a woman for once, McCoy and Kirk speak only of her beauty and they all beam back to the ship, and this is why we can’t have nice things.

I liked the plot of this episode, I really liked Lieutenant Radha, and I genuinely enjoyed that Scotty was the one who offered to put his life on the line for the benefit of the crew. I also liked that I wanted to know what the hell was happening and there was a satisfactory, albeit sad, ending to the story. After what has felt like ALL THE BAD episodes this season, this was a good one. That being said, I’m not sure if it’s because everything else has been so bad that this just seems super spectacular, or if it really was just a good science fiction story. There are obviously a few problems with this episode, including the ending few lines and how Spock manages to show up just as needed. There’s also the rampant sexism, even when they are clearly going out of their way to try and be more inclusive, so it kind of washes out in some ways. For me, this episode earns a completely accuracy 7-day weather forecast.

TA Out!

Setting the Stage: Today consisted of: office hours, lunch meeting, more office hours, teaching, dropping off food for a friend, and sitting in on a student meeting for which I am their faculty advisor. This meant I walked in the door at 7:45 pm and was watching Star Trek by 8 pm, still watching via Netflix and using their viewing order. Husband and I ate dinner (repurposed leftovers for the win!) while Zoom had his iced pumpkin-filled Kong, and Tempura looked on with disdain. Jazz joined us for a bit and, to everyone’s surprise, Loki sat next to me for the last 10 minutes of the episode! Thor was curled up somewhere, ignoring all of us. Tonight’s music is brought to you by El Ten Eleven, off of their self-titled album.

Quick Summary with my Impressions: “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield” begins with a mission: decontaminate the planet Ariannus. What happens instead is they come across a runaway space shuttle that had been stolen. They pull in the ship which has one inhabitant, a man who has half white skin and half black skin (think in terms of paint colors) who promptly collapses and is turned over to McCoy. When he comes to he claims to have only borrowed the craft and he swears he was going to return it as soon as he was done. His name is Lokai, no relation to this guy:

In the meantime, every sensor on the bridge identifies a ship – but no one can see it. We spend SO MUCH TIME trying to find the ship only to determine it’s probably invisible when it disintegrates and another alien beams aboard the ship. At first glance, he’s identical to Lokai. Upon further inspection I can see that the colors are opposite on Bele. Bele claims that Lokai is a murderer and a fugitive from their shared planet, Cheron. Bele seems a little more reasonable, until he continually argues with Lokai and then takes over control of the ship, with his mind no less. Kirk threatens to blow up the Enterprise and Bele calls his bluff, so we have Kirk give the first sequence, then Spock, and then Scotty (through gritted teeth), and then there’s the countdown. The passwords they all give are THE WORSE PASSWORDS EVER.

In true dramatic fashion, Bele concedes control and Kirk aborts the self-destruct, hoping both men will now learn more about the Federation and ultimately, peace. The Enterprise arrives at Ariannus and Scotty leads the decontamination. Once that is complete, Bele takes over the ship (and destroys a few things along the way), and Kirk is pissed! Once they are within visual range of Cheron, things get bad real quick. Apparently there is no evidence of life on the planet because the two factions warred each other to death and destruction. Lokai and Bele immediately turn on each other and then begin to chase each other through the ship. What seems like 10 days later, Loaki beams himself down to the planet’s surface, with Bele following a short time later. Everyone on the bridge is confused and Kirk is essentially like “screw it, we’re leaving”, so they leave.

This was absolutely a social commentary episode and very apropos, still, for today’s society. Don’t let the differences in someone’s outside appearance cause you to hate someone with every fiber of your being and certainly don’t let it dictate who is in charge, or superior, to someone who looks different. It doesn’t matter if it’s Sneeches with stars on their bellies or someone who butters their toast on a different side, because literally none of that matters. What matters is how we treat each other, kindness matters. Now that I’m off my soapbox (well, I mean I’m never off of it or you’d never be able to actually see me)… the plot was meh, and not really science-fictiony. I mean we get to see personal shields, invisibility cloaks for aircraft, and some mind control, but none of that was explored, it all just happened. Since everyone winds up dead at the end, it’s like we went through that whole episode for nothing, except maybe the meaning at the end of the parable. I was super stoked to see one of my favorite Riddler actors, Frank Gorshin, especially since I cosplay as Lady Riddler at cons! This, along with the ridiculous running scene that further reminded me of the Batman TV show, earns this episode all 4 seasons hitting at once in the same week.

TA out!