Date: February 20, 2020

Setting the Stage: I began the movie around 7:00 pm on Feb 19, 2020 via Amazon Prime. Thankfully Prime has sorted out its issue and we did not have to rent this one. Zoom decided my lap was the place to be, which was very difficult when trying to take notes on my laptop during the movie. This was the one movie I required the husband to be present for since he has consistently talked about how awful this one was, and I wanted someone to suffer through it with me. Tonight’s musical accompaniment is The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Walker soundtrack.

Luis-style Summary: We open to a planet in the neutral zone with an unknown Vulcan with weird mind tricks and a weird bald guy. After the credits, we get up close and personal with Kirk’s butt and several minutes of he-man Kirk climbing a mountain where Kirk, McCoy, and Spock are enjoying shore leave. Back on Nimbus III (the planet in the NZ) it looks like we’ve entered the Cantina on Mos Eisley (hey, it’s been a while since I’ve made a Star Wars reference!) where the Vulcan and some of his followers (he totally used Jedi mind tricks) take the Romulan, Klingon, and Federation representatives hostage.

On the “new” Enterprise, back from its latest cruise, Uhura and Scotty have an adorable moment before a red alert is called, Sulu and Chekov are lost, and McCoy, Spock, and Kirk are found after Kirk “forgets” his communicator. They are being sent to Nimbus III in order to rescue the hostages. Also en route are some Klingons, one of which is a very ambitious Kirk-hater. Spock knows the Vulcan, his name is Sybock, and he’s apparently one who values emotions over logic. Chekov gets to act as Captain while Spock and Kirk sneak to the planet, and Uhuha gets to dance naked and distract the lookout party. After 10 years of fight sequence later, the Enterprise landing party realizes they’ve been tricked. Kirk enables emergency landing plan “B” , which allows them to escape the Klingons but they wind up handing over the ship to Sybock and his followers. Sybock is apparently Spock’s half-brother and has crazy mind powers. He takes over Sulu and Uhura, and tries to take over Spock, Kirk, and McCoy but is unable to do so. His mission is to go look for Sha Ka Ree in the center of the universe and find “God”. The female Klingon is VERY good at English and Kirk thinks the Federation is on the way to provide assistance.

They break through the barrier and encounter the planet at the center of galaxy and Kirk is given command of the ship back. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Sybock take the shuttle down to the ship and everyone is so enamored with the planet that no one is paying attention to the incoming Klingon vessel. Stones emerge from the planet’s surface, as does a light with a speaking voice that sounds almost like Donald Sutherland. We find out the barrier was there to keep the entity in, not to keep others out. Sybock realizes his mistake and joins with the entity as Kirk orders a torpedo. Scotty then beams up Spock and McCoy, but the Klingons fire. The Klingons beam Kirk aboard, the Klingon captain apologies to Kirk, and Spock is introduced as the new gunner of the Klingon vessel. Everyone is so happy to be alive that they begin to get along, temporarily at least.

TL;DR: Spock’s half-brother is “on a mission from God” and kidnaps everyone in order to commandeer the Enterprise and visit the center of the galaxy, only to find out “God” is an alien.

Favorite quotes:

Kirk: ‘All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.’

McCoy: Melville.

Spock: John Masefield.

McCoy: Are you sure about that?

Spock: I am well versed in the classics, Doctor

McCoy: Then how come you don’t know ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat?’

McCoy asking the hard questions.

Kirk: Excuse me. I’d just like to ask a question. What does God need with a starship?

“God”: Bring the ship closer.

Kirk: I said ‘What does God need with a starship?’

Kirk asking the hard questions.

My Thoughts and Impressions: The whole opening sequence leaves me confused, in fact that will a be a theme for this post. When they are camping, the roasting marshmallow bit is adorable. 30 minutes into the movie, however, I still have no idea what the fuck is going on. Why is the Enterprise being sent out with a skeleton crew and a busted ship – you could put Kirk on another damn ship if you really needed his experience. I get that they’re trying to explain why the Enterprise is always being sent out, but this one still doesn’t make any damn sense. Didn’t we go to the center of the universe in the Animated Series?

Okay, all of that aside I do like the bit about the Klingon captain who was trying to make a name for himself, and that they spoke only Klingon until they needed to speak English to others… that makes sense at least. I also liked the uniforms in this movie, they were very flattering on the crew and made everyone look sharp. But that’s the end of the list of things that make sense.

What’s up with the rocket boots that show up only twice? What’s up with Uhura and Scotty, why show them flirting if you aren’t going to do anything about it? WHY ON EARTH DID WE NEED NAKED UHURA DANCE? I mean if she wanted to, you go lady! She did look like she had fun, but seriously? Why doesn’t Spock tell us it’s his brother sooner? It seems like Kirk and crew give up the ship a little too easily (except for Scotty, the jailbreak scene was fun too) and then decide to go exploring for God just for funsises. I get their 5-year mission was to explore new things, but this seemed much more to satisfy Kirk’s curiosity rather than advance the Federation somehow. How do they get through the “impenetrable barrier” with literally no fanfare or explanation, and then the Klingons just happen to bust in too? Why do we never get an explanation for Sybock and his mind magic? Will this reappear later? Will this be a random thing that never gets mentioned again?

So I totally get that Shatner directed this movie, but he made it all about Kirk at every turn. When Nimoy directed III although Spock’s name is in the title, Spock is not on screen very much and it’s about how the other characters are dealing with loss and processing their grief, and possibly seeing if there’s a chance to save their friend and first officer. Shatner, on the other hand, makes this the Captain Kirk double story hour, reminiscent to a few Original Series episodes that were all about Kirk. Yeah, we get you’re all accomplished and stuff, but it’s your crew that makes you better. Sigh.

I’m also wicked pissed with Kirk saying how he “lost a brother once” but was lucky and got him back. Hello, did you forget that you lost your actual flesh-and-blood brother? Hey, I’m all for chosen families, my chosen family is mostly geographically closer than those I am related to by blood. However, that’s the second slap in the face to your brother. Anyone remember the time in Star Trek II where Kirk tells his son that he’s never known loss? I mean, you aren’t going to tell your only son about his uncle? For shame!

Movie rating: . In comparison to the other movies on my Rankings page, I believe it earns itself a warp 3, and it’s only so high because of the camping scene and a few other good one liners.

Date: February 19, 2020

Setting the Stage: I began the movie around 7:00 pm on Feb 18, 2020 via Amazon Prime… but we had to rent it. Of the six original Trek movies, somehow IV (which was on Prime yesterday) was no longer available and we were only able to rent it, sigh. Husband and I ate Honey Balsamic Pork (it was a crock-pot night) with couscous and corn, and it was delicious. The cats were around in spurts, but Zoom was totally asleep on the blanket at the edge of the couch. He was a very tired pupperino.

This will be the last Star Trek movie I was not alive for, as I was born in December 1986.

Tonight’s musical accompaniment is Harry Potter inspired, with Winter at Hogwarts, mostly because it’s supposed to snow tomorrow.

Luis-style Summary: On Earth the Klingon ambassador is a little dramatic about Kirk’s actions in the previous movie and Sarek shows up to the hearing at the Federation to speak on his behalf. Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise are actually being charged for once, ironically Spock is not due to his being mostly dead for a good part of the movie. There’s an alien probe on approach every other ship in its path loses power. Kirk and crew take the stolen Klingon vessel back to face the music but before they can get there, the probe is approaching Earth and trying to communicate with – wait for it – humpback whales (that are no longer there because they are extinct). Apparently we’re going on a time heist for… whales?!

After a weird ass dream sequence, Kirk divides everyone into teams in order to solve the different problems. Spock mind melds with one of the whales and Kirk is beside himself with embarrassment, but of course meets a woman, Gillian. Scotty and McCoy are having fun with their acting challenge while Sulu makes friends in order to commandeer a helicopter. Uhura and Chekov find the nuclear naval ship, Uhura gets beamed back safely but Chekov gets caught by the authorities and insert hilarious Russian comedy scene because it’s the Cold War. Chekov has an accident during his escape, so McCoy, Gillian, and Kirk pose as doctors to help him out. Gillian jumps Kirk as he is being beamed back onto the ship in order to go to the future and save the whales, which are also beamed onto the ship in dramatic fashion. They get back to their own time, but are in the path of the probe and lose power. They land in the water, abandon ship, and release the whales. The whales and probe communicate and suddenly the probe goes back to whence it came. The council meets to discuss the fate of the Enterprise crew, every charge gets dropped except for one sp Kirk is “demoted” to Captain, which is what he wanted anyway. Sarek and Spock have the most Vulcan Hallmark moment ever, and it’s adorable.

TL;DR: An ancient intelligence made contact with whales and sends a probe to find out why they stopped communicating. The probe is destroying everything, including Earth, so the crew of the Enterprise time travels in their stolen Klingon vessel in order to save life on Earth.

Favorite quotes:

Chekov: Cloaking device now available on all flight modes.

Kirk: I’m impressed, it’s a lot of effort for a short voyage.

Chekov: We are in an enemy wessel, sir. I didn’t wish to be shot down on the way to our own funeral.

Kirk: Most prudent.

Chekov will all of my favorite lines.

Policeman #1: How’s the patient, Doctor?

Kirk: He’s gonna make it!

Policeman #2: He? He went in with a she.

Kirk: One little mistake.

Kirk with the good timing on this one.

My Thoughts and Impressions: There are a lot of problems with this movie, but I don’t focus on that much because it made me laugh. Between the scenes mentioned above and “everybody remember where we parked”, I worked out some laughing muscles I haven’t used in a while. Spock trying to “curse” and Scotty trying to speak to the computer are both quite funny. I’m reminded of a scene in 3rd Rock From the Sun where Dick Solomon tries to use a computer, and I bet it was a nod to Scotty. It’s too bad Kirk didn’t have access to the guy from Down Periscope who could speak in whale, but then we wouldn’t have had the need to travel back to 1986. I also find it (cough cough) fascinating (sorry, not sorry) that the actress that plays the Mom on 7th Heaven is in this film when we just had the Dad in The Motion Picture. I’ll say it again: there’s always a blonde for Kirk, but now apparently a headband for Spock, instead of a hat. I’m also kicking myself for not realizing that it’s not just blondes that Kirk is attracted to but ones who are damn smart to boot. I was also super excited to see a female Captain (from the Saratoga) and she’s a woman of color, double score!

McCoy is extra crotchety in this one, especially given the state of the hospital and its “medieval medicine”, but he does some elderly lady a solid and fixes her kidneys. As my father is currently doing dialysis three times a week and is in need of a kidney, that part really hit home. Consider checking the box to be an organ donor for when you no longer need yours or checking to see if you’re a match to be a living kidney donor. Thanks for coming to my surprise TED Talk on organ donation in the midst of a Trek review.

Thinking about what was happening in the late 1980’s makes this movie quite the political and even an environmentally friendly one. Trek once again blazes ahead in the social commentary, but then takes a few steps back with some of the problems I will highlight below. They also did a great job of framing a story around the time frame they were in at the time of the shooting, so they could get away with the “pop culture of the time” without having to go crazy because they could just go to San Fransisco and take shots of the normal outside world.

Now for the problems in this movie. How did NO ONE come across the ship in the park or run into it?! I mean you could SEE the impressions in the grass! The whale to probe scene at the end takes a few minutes longer than it needed to, especially with no translation by Spock. When Chekov is making his run for it, they are playing very Russian-like music and it’s a bit reminiscent of “Shore Leave” when they had the horrific Irish music playing when the Irish-based character was on screen. There’s also not much to the plot as it’s essentially just a time-heist, which at the time was probably one of the first and I will admit is quite well done. I don’t usually like time travel because it messes everything up. I also have a lot of questions, as I usually do. Why does Saavik stay on Vulcan? How does Scotty magically know how to be a whiz at the keyboard when he couldn’t recognize it wasn’t voice activated 2.3 seconds earlier? Also, why on EARTH does he just give away the secrets of transparent aluminum? I mean, I thought we weren’t supposed to mess with the time line, but we can just ignore all that now? Suuuuuuure.

Movie rating: . In comparison to the other movies on my Rankings page, I believe it earns itself a warp 8.5.

Date: February 18, 2020

Setting the Stage: I began the movie around 6:30 pm on Feb 17, 2020 via Amazon Prime. Husband and I ate Chinese food while Tempura (ironically) kept trying to eat my chicken. Zoom was in his pen with his frozen pumpkin-filled Kong and after we finished eating he slept, in between us. Tonight’s musical accompaniment is something random I pulled up on YouTube about the Chronicles of Narnia.

Luis-style Summary: The Klingons purchase data on the Genesis project and head to the Genesis planet. As the Enterprise is docking, there’s a breach in Spock’s quarters and it’s McCoy acting weird as fuck. Scotty gets assigned to the Excelsior and is salty about it. Sarek is mad at Kirk for not returning to Vulcan, but then realize that Spock mind-melded with McCoy before he died and that’s why McCoy is acting so strange. Dr. David Marcus and Saavic are near the Genesis planet and beam down after getting a life form reading and find Spock’s casket empty. Kirk asks the Commander of Starfleet to try to save Spock, he says no, so Kirk says “fuck it, I’ma do it anyway”, as do Chekov, Sulu, and McCoy. Uhura beams them aboard the Enterprise, while being a bad ass, and promises to meet them later. There’s a sort-of dramatic exit, and some sabotage by Scotty, but they get away and head toward the Genesis planet. Back on the Genesis planet, they come across a cold, crying boy who is totally baby Groot, I mean baby Spock.

Suddenly the Klingons arrive and blow up the Grissom, stranding baby Spock, Saavic, and David. The planet is aging, as is Spock, at an accelerated rate and this means Genesis was a failure. The Enterprise arrives, shots are exchanged, and Kirk “surrenders” by setting the destruct sequence to blow up the Klingons who boarded. The Enterprise crew beams down to the planet and David has been murdered. Kruge gets kicked in the face and into the lava down below. It’s a very Hans Gruber from Die Hard moment.

Kirk busts out some Klingon, they steal the Klingon ship, and rendezvous with Uhura and Sarek on Vulcan. The try to reinstate Spock’s consciousness from McCoy into Spock’s body. Once Spock is back in his body he starts to remember.

TL;DR: Genesis revitalized Spock’s body, Spock transferred his essence into McCoy before dying, Kirk and crew break every rule and own some Klingons in order to reconnect Spock’s body and mind.

Favorite quotes:

Kruge: Fire!

(Gunner fires and the Grissom is destroyed)

Kruge: I wanted prisoners!

Klingon Gunner #1: A lucky shot, sir.

(Kruge vaporizes the gunner)

Kruge: Animal!

Do not displease the Lord Commander!

Maltz: Wait! You said you would kill me!

Kirk: I lied.

Poor Klingon, no honorable death for you today.

Spock: The ship. Out of danger?

Kirk: You saved the ship, you saved us all. Don’t you remember?

Spock: Jim, your name is Jim.

Kirk: Yes.

Spock remembering bits and pieces.

My Thoughts and Impressions: I was not prepared for Christopher Lloyd as a Klingon, but he was fantastic. I grew up watching Lloyd in movies like Angels in the Outfield and Back to the Future. I like McCoy MUCH better in the movies, even though he’s still a racist and that’s never excusable, but here he seems to be more playful. While McCoy has Spock in his mind, he tries to do the Vulcan neck pinch and it’s hysterical. Also, you spot some Tribbles in the bar scene, which is a nice nod to the TV show and maybe also a nod to how much they hate Klingons, hmmmmm. I enjoyed finding out more about the Klingons and hearing their language, but it didn’t make sense when they transitioned to English sometimes. This was a very solid squeal movie in that it felt like no time had passed from The Wrath of Khan, when it fact all of the actors were now several years older in real life. There are some things that are weird like Kirk repeating “You Klingon bastard, you killed my son”, and Saavic being so nonchalant about pon farr when it was supposed to be a super secret Vulcan secret. Also, Sarek is supposed to be some all important ambassador, can’t he just ask the Federation to let Kirk get his son’s body? I did not like this version of Saavic and found her performance to be underwhelming, give me more Uhura! I found it interesting that when Spock was brought back to himself and was giving a “once over” to his crew, the reaction Uhura gives him. I’m totally on the “Spock and Uhura had a thing” bandwagon, and you can’t change my mind.

The two prior movies gave us a different Kirk from the TV series, one that was a little more willing to break the rules rather than follow or bend slightly. This Kirk, however, is a drastic change as he goes straight to rule-breaking after his commanding officer tells him “no”. He seems to have a blind spot where Spock is concerned and decides that Spock’s life is always worth the risk. The fact that Sulu, Uhura, Chekov, and Scotty also feel the same is a reflection on both Kirk and Spock being great leaders to their crew and inspiring loyalty no matter the cost. If McCoy was in his right mind, I’m sure he would have come along anyway, but he didn’t really have a choice which is why I leave him off the first list.

One thing I am certainly glad about is the ineffectiveness of the Genesis machine, as that could have opened a much bigger can of words. While terraforming and creating life is interesting as hell, I think the possibility of that technology in the “wrong” hands is far scarier than anything I want to actively think about.

Movie rating: . In comparison to the other movies and my Rankings page, I believe it earns itself a warp 7.

Date: February 17, 2020

Setting the Stage: I began the movie around 2:45 pm on Feb 16, 2020 via Amazon Prime. The usual suspects were in attendance. It was a busy Sunday: 5 loads of laundry, grocery shipping, meal planning, and some cleaning was all done before I sat down to watch the movie! We started early because I was headed to the Carolina Theater in the evening to watch Jay and Silent Bob Reboot and see Kevin Smith live. My friend, who had an extra ticket, has excellent seat-picking abilities and it was a fantastic evening. Today’s musical accompaniment is Coccolino Deep, who was recommended to me by YouTube.

I’m dedicating this entry to my Uncle Peter Chieffo, the late husband of my Aunt Dolores (my mom’s second oldest sister). He requested bagpipes to be played at his funeral because of this movie.

Luis-style Summary: We open with a female Vulcan, Saavik, completely failing her Kobayashi Maru test and McCoy relishing in his acting ability. It’s Kirk’s birthday, Spock has achieved the rank of Captain, and Chekov is now a first officer – just on a different ship. While exploring a “deserted and uninhabitable” planet Chekov and his captain, Terrell, run across Khan and his genetically modified crew, who implant bugs to make them malleable to suggestion. Apparently the Enterprise is the only ship in the quadrant that can make it to Regula I, even though it is now used for training. The Genesis project is about creating life from lifelessness, McCoy and Spock debate logic vs. ethics, and Khan shoots at the Enterprise from the newly commandeered Reliant. Kirk uses his cunning and is able to get down to Dr. Carol Marcus and Dr. David Marcus (mother and son), but Terrell and Chekov are still under the influence and there’s lots of yelling and shooting and such. Terrell kills himself, Chekov screams and passes out, and Kirk yells “KHAAAAAAAAAN”. Kirk is several steps ahead and goads Khan into following him into the nebula. After some cat-and-mouse games the Enterprise blows up the Reliant, but Khan sets the Genesis machine to blow up. Spock sacrifices himself to save the Enterprise, Khan gets blown up, and a new planet is born.

TL;DR: Khan is mad and tries to exact revenge, Kirk beats him, there’s a sub-plot of the Genesis project, and Spock “dies”.

Favorite quotes:

Khan: Of course. We’re one big happy fleet. Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us ‘Revenge is a dish that is best served cold?’ It is very cold … in space.

Khan addressing the air before he orders the Enterprise to be fired on

Saavik: ‘…no uncoded messages on an open channel.’ …You lied.

Spock: I exaggerated.

Vulcan to Vulcan hilarity

McCoy: Are you out of your Vulcan mind? No human can tolerate the radiation that’s in there!

Spock: But, as you are so fond of observing, Doctor, I’m not human.

Right before Spock administers a Vulcan Nerve Pinch on McCoy

Spock: In any case, were I to invoke logic, logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Kirk: Or the one.

A line that is repeated twice, once at the beginning and near the end.

David: Lieutenant Saavik was right. You never have faced a death.

Kirk: No, not like this. I haven’t faced death. I’ve cheated death. I tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing.

David: You knew enough to tell Saavik that how we face death is at least as important as how we face life.

Kirk: Just words.

David: But good words. That’s where ideas begin. Maybe you should listen to them. I was wrong about you and I’m sorry.

A Hallmark moment between father and son, and we now know who that blonde lab tech was.

My Thoughts and Impressions: Ricardo Montalbán is such a fantastic actor and, once again, gave an impressive performance as Khan. The uniforms were much better this time around and suited all the characters well. In comparison to The Motion Picture there was much less mystery to the plot, but I kind of liked that. The mystery was in the way that Khan was going to exact his revenge, how the Enterprise and its crew would escape (or not!), and what was going on with the Genesis project. There was also not as much “oooh look at our special effects”, because I don’t think I could have spent another eternity looking at the Enterprise or any other vessel for 15 minutes at a clip. I may have been able to guess what was going to happen next at various times in the movie, but I never knew just how they were going to do it. Spock sacrificing himself and sharing his last words with Kirk was very touching, and now I know why my Uncle wanted bagpipes at his funeral. Also when Scotty carries up the young cadet from engineering, it breaks my heart.

Obviously there are issues as there are with every movie. Why is the Enterprise the only ship available, why was Khan bent on revenge rather than trying to take over the galaxy again, and how did Khan know Chekov when Chekov wasn’t in Season 1 of The Original Series? Even if I didn’t know what the third movie was called, I would have never believed Spock was really dead because of the way they showed his casket on the planet and how much they discussed creating life from lifelessness. This made it just a little less sad, but anticipatory for the next movie – which is I guess the point. I enjoyed sassy Spock, crotchety but slightly more comical McCoy, and Kirk being a little more maverick. TV Kirk really went by the book as much as he could and only bent the rules ever so slightly when he felt it was the absolute right thing to do. Movie Kirk is a little more caviler about bending or breaking the rules, but I guess that happens as you age and find yourself on a path you didn’t really want. I really enjoyed seeing more of Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov and hope they have more to do in the next movies.

Movie rating: I’m not sure if it was because The Motion Picture had so many problems, or because this was just a better story with better acting, but I certainly liked this movie much better. I believe it earns itself a warp 8.

Date: February 16, 2020

Setting the Stage: I began the movie around 7:45 pm on Feb 15, 2020 via Amazon Prime. As usual, husband and all the fur children are with us. Thor was on my lap, Tempura on his, Zoom in between us, and Jazz and Loki were in and out of the living room. Today’s musical accompaniment is Tyco.

A note about the summary: in real life, I get very animated when I tell a story, especially one I am passionate about. I mean I am Italian after all. When Luis from Ant-Man catches us up in his own style, I knew I wasn’t the only one who went off on tangents during story-telling mode. If you haven’t seen Luis in action, here he is:

Luis-style Summary: We open to Klingons, who now have ridged heads and don’t speak English, getting owned by something. Kirk is now an Admiral, Scotty has a mustache, and everyone has new uniforms. The transporter is on the fritz, really they couldn’t come up with something new? McCoy is as crotchety as ever and has a beard, that is shaved in record time. Suddenly, a wormhole appears. Decker saves the ship, Spock comes on board and is as Vulcan as ever. He is getting messages from the alien entity. Checkov gets to scream. This thing is massive and beams into the ship and takes Ilya with it. She beams back but is now a probe for the alien entity. Spock goes renegade, what else is new? Kirk is back to bluffing and they meet VGER, also known as Voyager 6, a NASA probe launched over 300 years ago. Voyager just wanted to transmit its data, except it also wants to meet and “join” with its creator, and it chooses Decker. Earth is saved and the band is back together.

TL;DR: Someone made a machine that is looking for its creator. It thinks that humans are interfering with finding it so it threatens anything that keeps it from its task.

Favorite quotes:

DECKER: Don’t interfere with it!

CHEKOV: Absolutely I will not interfere.

Decker and Chekov discussing the plasma-energy probe from the alien vessel.

SPOCK: Doctor, a thorough examination of this probe might provide some insight into those who manufactured it, and how to deal with them.

McCOY: Fine! Let’s get her to sickbay.

ILIA PROBE: I am programmed to observe and record only the normal functioning procedures of the carbon-based units.

KIRK: The …examination is a normal function.

ILIA PROBE: You may proceed.

Spock providing insight, McCoy being snarky, Kirk using logic on a machine, and the machine accepting Kirk’s logic.

My Thoughts and Impressions: The special effects are excellent for the time and much better than in the TV show, but they certainly spend A LOT of time going “look at this stuff we can do now”. I mean WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG TO GET TO THE ENTERPRISE? Shatner is wearing A LOT of makeup. Decker is baby Stephen Collins, who I first remember as the Dad from 7th Heaven. It was super interesting to see the whole crew and that it is much more diverse than what we saw during the show. There are a variety of alien species, Native Americans, and you finally get to appreciate the size of the Enterprise‘s crew. At first it just feels like Kirk is getting the band back together; specifically requesting a Vulcan, bringing back McCoy out of retirement, and such. He really seems to want to relive his glory days, but then seems to remember what an ultimate responsibility it is to be the Captain. When Spock comes aboard, everyone is happy to see him, but Uhura especially is, and this another nail in the coffin (for me) that they definitely had a thing going during The Original Series. I don’t understand why are there so many costume changes, both from the TV show and then within the movie. One minute they are in jumpsuits, and then there are short sleeves, and it doesn’t quite add up. Sulu gives good face, just as Spock still gives good eyebrow. I am so glad Chapel got her MD. Poor Scotty had nothing to do, and I’m sad we didn’t really see more of him. There were also no communicators, so there was no “Kirk out” and I was a little bummed about that. One big question that still is unanswered is what was the point of the Klingons at the beginning? Nothing ever resurfaced about that. It also seemed like it took FOREVER to get to anywhere (I get it, special effects, ooooh) and also to the problem.

All that being said, I didn’t hate it. I thought it could have done with a little less showing off the special effects and a little more dialogue. However, the special effects were likely breathtaking and worth it watching in a movie theater in 1979. The acting was good in some ways, and not so great in others. After spending five seasons with the crew of the Enterprise, it was great to see them a little later in their careers. I was a little puzzled by the end, where Kirk doesn’t wait for orders and essentially steals the Enterprise and its crew, but I guess that’s the perks of being an Admiral? We do, however, get the familiarity of Kirk, Spock, and McCoy bantering and discussing the mission, which was fun. Overall, I’m not wishing I had two hours of my life back – maybe just the 15 minutes of the never-ending trek to the Enterprise and the beginning and then the other 15 minutes en route to the the Voyager probe.

Movie rating: This movie had its ups and its downs. I believe it earns itself a warp 6.