Date: May 30, 2020

Season 7, Episodes 18 and 19

Musical Accompaniment: Some more piano covers I don’t think I’ve listened to before.

Interstellar News: We picked up almost 100 lbs. of meat today from a local butcher and spent most of the morning repackaging and vacuum sealing it. It was actually a lot of fun.

Favorite Quote from “Eye of the Beholder”:

Troi: I can’t explain it, but it feels real to me. Just like what happened in the nacelle tube.

Worf: There are things we do not understand, yet they exist nonetheless.

Worf with some deeeeeeeep words.

“Eye of the Beholder” begins with Worf and Riker in the warp nacelle where Riker is trying to talk down Lieutenant Dan Kwan from jumping into the plasma flow. Riker is, unfortunately, unsuccessful, so Picard orders Worf and Troi to investigate. Kwan’s journals and girlfriend both show he was happy and not suicidal, but he had some empathic capabilities so Troi goes to the place where it happened and talks with his supervisor, Nara, who is also shook up. Troi gets a terrible feeling and reports to sick bay. Crusher determines there’s something wrong with Troi so she wants her to go with someone next time, at which Worf volunteers (and he also has a suuuuuuper awkward conversation with Riker).

Worf and Troi arrive to review the scene and Worf raises the door when suddenly Troi is overwhelmed by things happening when the Enterprise was being built. There is a man and a woman who are kissing and another man who has walked in on them, that man looks familiar to Troi. Her and Worf go to talk to Pierce (the man) down in engineering, but get nothing. Back in Troi’s quarters, her and Worf do the weird goodbye thing where neither person wants the other to leave and then… they kiss and have breakfast together the next morning. Troi takes the inhibitor from Crusher so she won’t be so overwhelmed and then heads over to find La Forge and Data in engineering where she keeps getting flashes of what happened and they find human remains in the wall. Pierce visits Troi in her room, she has security arrest him, but then she find Worf and Calloway kissing and laughing at her… so she kills Worf and runs to kill herself, just like Kwan. All of a sudden, Worf pulls her back because this entire paragraph happened in her mind in a matter of seconds. Turns out Pierce killed the other two and then himself using the plasma stream, but had some Betazoid in him so there was an empathic trace left behind that both Kwan and Troi picked up.

First, what is with all the heavy episodes in Season 7? Suicide, letting love get away, ordering someone to their death, almost killing an entire village, and let’s not forget a dead sister you never knew. Second, how does the impression of Pierce cause Kwan and Troi to want to commit suicide, did it have something to do with the plasma? Troi experiences a lot of time over just a few seconds, just as Picard did when he was out for 30 minutes in “The Inner Light“. There’s a lot that happens that didn’t really happen because it’s all part of Troi’s hallucination. Does she want a relationship with Worf, and he with her for that matter? They both have had experiences with the other that didn’t actually happen in this timeline that make me think they want to be more to each other, or maybe that’s the producer’s way of foreshadowing a romance? I’m still in the camp of Spock and Uhura being a thing in TOS, not that anyone asked.

There was some real talk about suicide and how it effects everyone around you. In counseling we use the term “protective factors” to determine if someone is a risk to themselves or others. Do they have a support system, a method available to them, prospects, etc.? Kwan had everything going for him and would have been a super low risk and, as it turns out, wasn’t really his fault anyway because someone else influenced his choice telepathically. Part of me thinks that was best, it would help his parents and loved ones to understand he had been killed in the line of duty rather than have taken his own life. Part of me, however, thinks it cheapens what could have been an episode pointing out that it’s never that hopeless. I’m so torn on how I feel about the suicide that wasn’t and also how most of what happened in the episode also didn’t actually happen, so what was the point? 5 bites on the neck from Worf on this episode, giggity.

Favorite Quote from “Genesis”:

Barclay: I’m curious, sir. Who’s the father?

Data: I am not certain. Spot has escaped from my quarters on several occasions and there are twelve male felines on board. I intend to run a full DNA analysis on the kittens once they…

This was the most wholesome conversation ever. Of course Barclay is a cat person, it all makes sense now.

Data’s Not Really An Android: “I have spent the past nine weeks as an expectant parent. I would be happy to share my insights with your husband. If my experience is any indication, he will need all the help he can get.”

“Genesis” starts off in sick bay where Riker had a mishap on a date, Barclay is being his usual self, and both Spot and Nurse Ogawa are pregnant, hooray! Barclay has the flu and Crusher gives him something to help activate a particular T-cell. Worf is testing a new weapons system and is super excited but something goes wrong so Data and Picard have to take a shuttle through the asteroid field to go get it. Worf, of course, gets super cranky and Riker orders him to go relax. Worf is chowing down in Ten-Forward, annoyed by everything and everyone, and is acting very primitively. In fact, everyone else on board is acting strangely too. Barclay is going 10,000 miles per minute, Troi is dehydrated and cold, and Riker is losing his concentration and memory. Worf bites Troi and they both wind up in sick bay where Worf spray venom at Crusher and reports are coming in from all over the ship.

Three days later Picard and Data return to the Enterprise adrift and everyone on board has devolved. Troi is some sort of lizard, Worf is all animal instinct, Barclay is part spider, Riker is Cro-Magnon, and even Spot has turned into a lizard with a pink collar. Data figures out that everyone has synthetic T-cells and, of course, it’s Barclay’s fault. They have to use Data’s computer and realize the kittens are still kittens, so Data believes amniotic fluid will help… good thing Ogawa is pregnant. Data’s theory works and he sends the cure through the environmental controls. Crusher realizes it was her fault for not realizing Barclay had a mutation that activated his introns and so he gets to have a disease named after him, double hooray!

This was absolutely ridiculous but also a bit awesome. This time Picard gets to help Data save everyone while he is also acting his ass off having to be paranoid Picard, it’s glorious. It’s also a great avenue to show how far Barclay has come while also showing he still needs a bit of work to do. Worf does surly Klingon very well and Troi had me laughing at her constantly being cold, and the skit with Worf and Troi on the bridge reminded me of “Women’s Winter“. Picard should know better than to leave Riker in charge of the ship, I mean there have been several times where Riker has almost caused complete and utter ruin, most recently in “Timescape“. I loved that Data was so involved with Spot, but it was just tooooooo perfect that one of the crew also was pregnant and that was the key to saving everyone. There were adorable kittens, so it couldn’t be all bad… right? This episode really was so bad it was at least a little good, so I’ll give it 6 T-cells for all of its goofiness and KITTENS.

TA Out!

Date: May 29, 2020

Season 7, Episodes 16 and 17

Musical Accompaniment: a random assortment of 2CELLOS

Interstellar News: I had five meetings in a row today and it continues to rain and be humid when it stops… please send help.

Favorite Quote from “Thine Own Self”:

Troi: You know, this is a much better way of communicating for you. It’s far less confusing than the way you normally speak.

Riker (after playing an angry sound): I knew I could count on my imzadi, the ship’s Counselor to boost my self-image. (he says, waving his arms in sarcasm)

Troi: I’m glad to be of service.

Riker: Did you come here for something in particular, or just general Riker bashing?

I really love Troi and Riker’s relationship, it reminds me of a lot of my relationships with some of my friends.

“Thine Own Self” begins with Dr. Crusher at the helm during Gamma shift, as Data is away on assignment. Troi is just returning from a class reunion and chats with Crusher about her reason for going after a promotion. The next day she also discusses the possibility with Riker, mostly because of her experience in “Disaster“. She takes the exam and passes everything with flying colors except for the engineering portion and she’s frustrated that Riker won’t tell her how to improve. After three more tries Riker tells her she’s not cut out for it and his first duty is to the ship, not her feelings. This inspires her to retake the test where she orders holodeck La Forge to sacrifice his life for the life of the crew, and Riker congratulates her on passing and becoming Commander Troi.

On Barkon IV a clearly bewildered Data stumbles into town and, after a few tries, explains to Garvin, the magistrate, that he has no idea who he is. He’s carrying a container that reads “radioactive” but, since neither man knows what that means, they open it and examine the rocks inside. Data is checked out by the town’s wise woman who determines he’s from the mountains and they name him Jayden. Data sells some of the rocks as he will need money but then causes somewhat of a panic when he lifts a heavy object off of someone in town. Everyone who came in contact with the rocks are exhibiting signs of radiation sickness, which Data eventually figures out and creates a cure for. The townspeople, however, show up with pitchforks and Data is “killed”, but only after he dumps the cure in the water supply. Crusher and Riker beam down to look for Data when they encounter Gia who explains where Data is buried. They beam everything up to the ship and reassemble Data who has no idea what happened after he retrieved the radioactive material. Troi takes over on Gamma shift and away we go.

Troi’s part of the story is an interesting callback to Season 5 and explains a little more about rank in Starfleet. Crusher, a doctor and the Chief Medical Officer, is also a Commander in her own right. That rank allows her to be a part of the chain of command and also allows her to fill in when needed, even if it’s third shift. Troi’s motivation, however, seems kind of petty for her. She’s the Counselor of Starfleet’s flagship and she’s worried about not being a Commander? pssssssh, she doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life. Also, I’m not sure how good of a test it can be when she’s ordering holodeck La Forge to his fake death, at least when Wesley took his exam in “Coming of Age” he really thought he had killed someone.

Data’s part of the story was basically Trek’s version of all the monster movies, more specifically Frankenstein. I loved that the town’s wise woman kept giving super confident answers to why Data was the way he was, she was certainly not to be trifled with. “Oh yeah, he’s totally that way because he’s a mountain man and um has to fight off creatures and um yeah… now do your spelling!” What I don’t understand is how Data remembered everything else but not what the word “radioactive” meant? That seems a bit too specific for his memory to just lose. I also dislike how, in the end, Data remembers nothing of his time on Barkon. That seems such a disservice to everyone involved, as Gia, Garvin, and all the rest will remember him forever as Jayton and he will remember nothing. I wanted to like this so much more because it was a good episode, there were just too many flaws. 5 shovels for this episode.

Favorite Quote from “Masks”:

Data: Although I am relieved to be rid of those alien personalities, in a sense, I am now empty.

Picard: I can imagine. Dr. Crusher told me that there were possibly dozens of personalities inside you.

Data: I suspect the number was much greater. My impression is that there were thousands, of all ages and walks of life. It was a remarkable experience.

Picard: Well, Data, you never may become fully human, but you’ve had an experience that transcends the human condition. You have been an entire civilization.

Picard always knows just what to say. Who writes his lines?

“Masks” has the Enterprise following a rogue comet when suddenly there is a flash. Strange objects appear all over the ship and Data sculpts a mask with a sun symbol on it. Soon he and the computer start acting slightly off, the computer has all of these symbols which Data somehow understands. They melt the outside of the comet to find a structure inside, which Data identifies as an archive. In my head I’m thinking back to “For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky” and have a touch of nostalgia (four whole months ago since I watched that episode!).

Picard collects many of the artifacts that have been left around the ship as the archive has been busy, but this allows him a bit of time to geek out. During Data’s diagnostic he begins to exhibit different personalities, one which says “Masaka is waking”. Thankfully the plate on Data’s chest changes with each personality shift and some of the personalities even cooperate with Picard as he tries to figure out how to stop the archive from transforming his ship. They recreate her temple, figure out it is Korango (the moon) who can help control her, and a mask is created that Picard puts on. Picard “talks the computer to death” that would have made Kirk so damn proud, and everything is back to normal.

This was Jumanji meets The United States of Tara with a South American mythos spin, both of which I loved waaaaaaay more than this episode. Spiner gets to play all the people, again, but this time he didn’t have to change his outfit and I just wasn’t as compelled by the story. This reminded me of all the times Kirk talked the computer to death and everything was magically all fixed. I did enjoy that they clay making class was used in an interesting way, but unfortunately it means Data wasn’t actually creative at all. Everything seemed like such a long way to go for a sun-chases-the-moon story. I was, however, pleased with the ending. They find a way to stop the transformation program and get the historians out there to investigate this super interesting culture and Data explains how many people were inside of him (phrasing, sorry) and that’s honestly the best thing towards helping him experience what it was to be human, at least in that culture. 5 personalities for Data in this one, poor dear.

I will say, after six-and-a-half seasons of TNG, I do prefer when they use more of the regular cast as opposed to just focusing on one or two characters. I found myself missing everyone who wasn’t Picard or Data. That is unless one of those characters is Worf, I could watch all the episodes about him.

TA Out!

Date: May 28, 2020

Season 7, Episodes 14 and 15

Musical Accompaniment: Ambient Worlds presents: Moria

Interstellar News: It was another day of rain. I feel like I’m in Rock-a-Doodle.

“Sub Rosa” begins on Caldos as Dr. Crusher’s grandmother has passed. Picard is talked into extending their stay just a bit to take a look at the planet’s systems as it was one of the first terraforming projects and was meant to replicate Scotland. As Crusher explores Nana’s house, a man named Ned leaves as fast as he comes talking about ghosts and haunted houses and “for God’s sake woman get rid of that candle”. Crusher reads Nana’s journals which reveal a much younger lover and then she herself has an erotic dream, giggity.

The weather system is borked and when Crusher returns to the house it is full of camellias, Nana’s favorite flower, and the dream dude is back. La Forge and Data are working on the system, which also effects the Enterprise, and are interrupted by Ned who winds up being killed by ghost lightning. Ronin, the ghost, has been the lover of every Howard woman for centuries as long as the candle is lit. Crusher races back to the Enterprise, lights the candle, and waits for Ronin like a druggie waiting for their high to hit and they start to become “one”. The next day Crusher resigns from Starfleet and Picard is… crushed (it had to be said). Data and La Forge find the source of the energy signature, in Nana’s coffin of all places, and Picard wants to meet Ronin. Crusher’s eyes begin to change from blue to green, Ronin appears and attacks Picard and then goes after the others. “Nana” wakes up (it’s really Ronin) and attacks La Forge and Data, but Crusher figures it out he’s just an alien, destroys the candle and Ronin, and is… crushed at losing her love (okay I’m done, promise).

You may have noticed I had no favorite quote from this episode because it was just that awful. Space ghosts, I mean come on! So there were some nice touches. The Disney villain evil green was a nice touch, the weather becoming more like what actual Scotland is like was fantastic, and Crusher remembering she’s a doctor and not just a pretty face was the best. I will say I was impressed with McFadden having to do her very own Sally impression, though it’s MUCH quieter… she’s obviously not a New Yorker. The rest of the story was… just bad. The fact that Crusher was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t think straight and didn’t come to her senses when his influence left her was ridiculous and equally ridiculous that she just happens to come to her senses because the episode was about to end. This is one of those episodes where I just want my 45 minutes back, please? This episode earns itself 3 bouquets of camellias for Crusher.

Favorite Quote from “Lower Decks”:

Troi: Didn’t you tell me that you took up poker so you could be in the officer’s game at the Potemkin?

Riker: I happen to like poker.

Troi: But your senior officers might have thought you were trying to ingratiate yourself. I guess it’s lucky that they realised you were young and inexperienced, and decided not to hold it against you.

Riker: Maybe I have been a little hard on Lavelle.

Troi laying the smack down on Riker, as usual.

Worf’s One-Two Punch: “Perhaps next time you are judged unfairly, it will not take so many bruises for you protest.”

“Lower Decks” begins with Riker and Troi discussing crew evaluations in Ten-Forward while junior officers Lavelle, Ogawa, Sito, and Taurik sit and chat a few tables down. Lavelle and Sito participate in a simulation on the bridge while Taurik works with La Forge down in engineering when Picard calls the senior staff into a meeting to discuss their newest orders.

They arrive close to the Cardassian border and rescue someone in an escape pod, who is beamed directly to sick bay where Ogawa is asked to leave and Sito is in charge of the door. Picard asks Sito to follow him where he tears her a new one based on her involvement in “The First Duty”, Taurik (who is too smart for his own good) and La Forge are damaging a shuttle craft in the cargo bay, and Ogawa is asked to scrub in for surgery on the mystery passenger… a Cardassian named Jorel Dal. Worf makes up a Klingon test in order to teach Sito a lesson which allows her to stand up to Picard, and that was the point all along as he wanted to see if she was ready for a mission. The plan is for Joret Dal to “escape” in the damaged shuttle and take Sito as his prisoner so he can make it past the border and then he’ll send her back in the escape pod. The junior officers, who are mostly out of the loop, can’t really discuss the parts that they know and the senior staff waits on the bridge for 32 hours past the appointed time when the news comes that she didn’t make it. Worf sits with the kids and they grieve together.

I loved that we followed the junior officers around for a bit and weren’t brought in on what was going on until Ogawa was looped in. Yes, there were clues but you didn’t know for sure until that moment. The lives of the junior officers are different, they have to share a room and they have little idea what’s going on most of the time. I also loved that we got to meet a civilian contractor, Ben the Bartender, who bridged the gap between the senior and junior officers. We are told that not everyone aboard is in Starfleet, but it’s not something we’ve seen a lot of. I liked Taurik’s portrayal of a Vulcan, as we’ve unfortunately not had too many (aside from Dr. Selar) who were actually worth a damn. I also really liked the callback to “Encounter at Farpoint” when Sito was telling Picard to judge her on her current record, not her past, which was super close to what Picard asks Q to do for humanity during the trial. Everyone had their moment in this episode and I can see why, despite the ending, I would want to watch this one again. I think the only thing that could have been done better is if Sito wasn’t Bajoran but was instead altered to look like one. Was she offered the mission simply because she was Bajoran, because she had something to prove, or because she was a qualified pilot? This one gets a 9.9 on the warp drive from me.

TA Out!

Date: May 27, 2020

Season 7, Episodes 12 and 13

Musical Accompaniment: Giving my iTunes playlist a spin, too many bands to list.

Interstellar News: It rained, and then it stopped, and then it rained, and then it stopped… need I continue?

Favorite Quote from “The Pegasus”:

Riker: I can’t help but feel I should have come forward a long time ago.

Picard: When the moment came to make a decision, you made the right one. You chose to tell the truth and face the consequences. So long as you can still do that, then you deserve to wear that uniform. And I will still be proud to have you as my First Officer.

Picard explaining to Riker that it’s never too late to tell the truth, as long as you’re willing to face the consequences.

“The Pegasus” begins with “Captain Picard Day”, ya know… for the kids. Suddenly Admiral Blackwell tells them to rendezvous with the Crazy Horse where they meet with Admiral Pressman, Riker’s first captain from the Pegasus. Apparently the Pegasus didn’t explode and is somewhere in the Devolin system, where the Romulans are also lurking. Picard has a pleasant conversation with the Romulan captain Sirol and each goes in search of the missing ship. Picard and Riker discuss a supposed mutiny aboard the Pegasus and then Riker clams up… because, “orders”. The Enterprise finds it first, inside of an asteroid, and Pressman demands they go in after “the experiment” over Picard’s objections.

The Pegasus is half stuck in the rock when Pressman and Riker beam down. Turns out the “experiment” was phased cloak technology, in clear violation of the treaty, and also what caused the ship to “explode” years ago. The mutiny was just because Pressman endangered the lives of those on board for an illegal experiment and Riker finally expresses his displeasure, especially because he didn’t know any better as a young ensign. They beam back but the Romulans “accidentally” seal them in, so Riker spills the beans and they use the “experiment” to get themselves out. On Picard’s orders they decloak in front of the Romulans and says they’ll explain later. Pressman and Riker are arrested, but Riker will likely not suffer too many consequences because he’s still a main cast member.

This was a wonderful episode from start to finish. “Picard Day” is delightful, mostly because Picard is sooooooooooo over it and uncomfortable but also because Riker is doofy and playful with his captain. We get two admirals in this episode where one continues the tradition of being an asshole but at least has the decency to get what’s coming to him for doing something illegal. There’s the mystery about “the experiment” and the mutiny, which are all nicely cleared up by the end. There’s also the slimy Sirol who is so polite it hurts, but he and Picard have the most amazingly cordial we-both-know-what’s-up-and-we’re-totally-lying conversation. Riker finally gathers his courage and stands up to Pressman, something 12 years in the making, and we see how far he has come under Picard’s mentoring. There are almost no faults to this episode, except for the fact that a lot of stuff happens behind the scenes that I would have liked to see. 9 years in prison for this episode!

Favorite Quote from “Homeward”:

Nikolai: I wasn’t going to let those people die just because your Captain started quoting Federation dogma to me.

Worf: Your duty was to respect the Captain’s orders and to uphold the Prime Directive.

Nikolai: Duty. That’s all that really matters to you, isn’t it? Well, I refuse to be bound by an abstraction. The lives of the people of Boraal are far more important to me.

The biggest problem with this interpretation of the Prime Directive.

“Homeward” has the Enterprise answering the distress call of Dr. Nikolai Rozhenko, Worf’s foster brother, on Boraal II. The planet is in distress and won’t be able to sustain life anymore but the inhabitants aren’t advanced enough to know about space travel, so Worf beams down undercover and finds not only his brother, but a whole bunch of Boraalans. Nikolai couldn’t leave them to die and, as usual, everyone but Crusher is quoting the Prime Directive. Nikolai, however, recreates the caves on the holodeck and beams up the Boraalans while they are sleeping and he has a plan.

Picard approves the plan, mostly because he doesn’t have an alternative, so Nikolai and Worf take the Boraalans on a journey through the caves where the holodeck will change until they can find a new planet for them. A Boraalan named Vorin wanders off and accidentally makes his way onto the Enterprise. Troi and Picard try to help him to make a decision; stay on the Enterprise and make a new life in space or go back to his people and decide what to tell them. He eventually kills himself because he cannot make either decision. Back in the holodeck, Nikolai has impregnated one of the Boraalans and decides he wants to stay with them. Eventually they arrive at the new planet and use a holodeck storm as a cover to beam everyone down, where the brothers Rozhenko say goodbye.

I don’t recall when the Prime Directive meant leaving a bunch of people to die because they weren’t advanced enough. Picard knows how important it is to preserve a culture, I’m looking at you “The Inner Light“, so why is he so opposed to preserving the Boraalan culture and/or people? Since when was loss of life an acceptable casualty of the Prime Directive? Okay I will admint that Nikolai’s plan wasn’t foolproof and didn’t have pre-approval, but it worked eventually… though at the high price of a life. I also wonder if Nikolai would have cared so much if he wasn’t going to be a father, I choose to think so. I did love Worf’s quick thinking about the “sign of La Forge” and creating the storm, and Nikolai’s plan really did have a lot of merit and was more in the spirit of the Prime Directive than the rest of the bridge crew could muster. As always, Crusher is the voice of reason. No more than 3 Class-M planets for this episode.

TA Out!

Date: May 26, 2020

Season 7, Episodes 10 and 11

Musical Accompaniment: A mix inspired by “Mambo Italiano” by Hetty and the Jazzato Band

Interstellar News: Today was the worst roller coaster of emotions in a while.

Favorite Quote from “Inheritance”:

Juliana: Deanna Troi, is that who you’re going to visit?

Data: Yes.

Juliana: Your father would be so pleased.

Data: Pleased?

Juliana: He was worried that the sexuality program he designed for you wouldn’t work.

Data: You misunderstand. Counselor Troi is a therapist.

Juliana: Goodnight (eyebrow waggle)

The absolute best exchange between mother and son, complete with Data’s embarrassment.

“Inheritance” has the Enterprise helping the good folks of Atrea IV with a planetary situation and they choose a plan similar to what we saw in “A Matter of Time“. One of the scientists, a woman named Juliana, claims to be Data’s mother. She explains how she knew him, why they abandoned him, and how she wants to get to know him. She’s very much like every mother telling embarrassing stories about Data’s “childhood” and such. Data discusses Lal and Dr. Soong’s death when Juliana reveals the prototypes before Lore and her trepidation at creating more androids, as well as the truth about why he was left behind.

Data asks his mother some questions, then goes to Dr. Crusher. When the cave destabilizes, Juliana and Data have to jump down and it reveals that Juliana is really an android. Data finds a chip and runs it in the holodeck which reveals a program Dr. Soong left explaining that there was a human Juliana but she died and so he programmed this Juliana as a replacement, but she eventually left him. He explains it’s imperative she not know she’s an android. Data agrees to follow his father’s wishes, the planet is saved, and Data promises to visit his mother next leave.

I did not feel the suspense of “the planet is going to explode” at all, except for the one scene in the cave that was clearly only there to expose Juliana as an android. I am also a little mad at the writers for throwing in the line Juliana’s husband delivers about not trusting machines and then, when his wife is revealed to be one, nothing happens. Come on! It reminds me of the line in Anchorman where Brick comments about a woman’s period attracting bears and then, when she falls into the bear pit, another missed opportunity! Oh well, you can’t win them all.

I was so excited to see how adorable they were together as a mother/son duo, but this episode made me think of more questions and didn’t provide me with enough answers. Once she realized Data was not at all like Lore, why didn’t she look him up? How did no one know she was an android? She never had an accident before? I so wanted to love this episode way more than I did, but there are too many things I cannot overlook. It all kind of reminds me of The Electric Grandmother. I’ll give this a 5 for all the members of Data’s family: Dr. Soong, Dr. Juliana, Lore, Data, and Lal.

Favorite Quote from “Parallels”:

Troi: It’s a great honor. So, that would make me your?

Worf: The closest analogy is step-sister.

Troi: That would make my mother your step-mother.

Worf: I had not considered that. It is a risk I am willing to take.

Troi: I accept.

The absolute look of horror on Worf’s face is absolutely priceless.

Worf’s One-Two Punch: “I am old enough.”

“Parallels” has Worf returning from a bat’leth tournament via a shuttle en route to the Enterprise, he explains how he won first place. It’s also his birthday and he’s worried Riker’s arranged a surprise party, which turns out to be true despite Riker’s objections. During the party Worf is a little dizzy and all of a sudden his chocolate cake is yellow and Picard is there eating cake, when Riker had just told him Picard was on the bridge… weird. They’re heading to the Argus Array because something’s wrong and it turns out the Cardassians have reprogrammed it. Worf thanks Troi for helping with Alexander and asks her to be his soh-chim, which she accepts. Down in engineering Worf has another episode and heads to sick bay where Crusher explains he had a concussion from the tournament and his logs and trophy now say he came in ninth place… super weird.

Things keep changing around the ship and La Forge’s VISOR winds up being the triggering point. One time the painting in his room is moved, the next it’s a different painting, the next Troi’s clothes change, and now no one remembers that the Cardassians reprogrammed the array. At one point Worf looses time and is being ordered to raise shields, he can’t due to a totally weird panel, and La Forge is critically injured. Nurse Ogawa is the CMO, Troi and Worf are married (and have kids!), his brother went to the bat’leth competition in his place, oh and Worf is first officer to Riker’s captain, with Wesley at tactical, because Picard died in the Borg attack. Data figures out that Worf went through a quantum fissure and has just been shifting between realities, almost Quantum Leap-like. The Bajorans attack while the Enterprise has a beam at the fissure and suddenly there are over 200,000 other Enterprises. One of them has Picard and sends the shuttle so Worf can return and everything can be reset. This works and Worf is back in the shuttle with his first place win. This time there is no surprise party but Troi does give him a gift and then he invites her to dinner.

This episode was AMAZING from start to finish. In each reality just a little something is changed (like Data having blue eyes) and there are callbacks to so many episodes. One of the Enterprises has a fuzzy Riker who absolutely does not want to go back to their universe where the Federation is no more and the Borg have taken over. Each time Worf has an episode, him and Troi get closer and closer and it’s absolutely adorable. She’s been a wonderful mother-figure to Alexander and she isn’t scared to call Worf out on his bullshit when he won’t talk. I absolutely love when she goes to kiss him and he freaks out, it’s everything I expected and Michael Dorn plays it beautifully. My favorite was when they sang “For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow”, translated in Klingon of course, likely because Trek didn’t want to pay for the rights to “Happy Birthday” (I’m looking at you Sports Night). I also loved that in none of the realities does Worf wear blue, well at least in none of the ones that we saw. He is genuinely saddened by the loss of Alexander in one of the timelines and it proves he’s come a long damn way since “Reunion“. I was going to rate this episode “10th place” but then I realized that doesn’t work, so you figure it out.

TA Out!